I have to go away for a few days to visit my Kunta Kinta. (explanation available on request). The whole thing is retarded. I actually have to get a taxi, then a train, then a plane then a train. I don't want to go. It's someone's 80th birthday, won't that be bag of fun...yeah, good luck with that...
These days I'm lucky if I struggle out of bed at 11 in the am. I have to ring a fucking taxi at 9? Wtf? I can see it all going pear shaped pretty quickly...
I honestly don't know what to do...I don't have an alarm clock, I'm too thick to set the mobile alarm. I know I won't go to sleep before 2 am...what to do...what to do...what the fuck to do...
I suppose one thing I can do is pack ahead at least the essentials to survive this disaster: 1. Valium 2. Prozac 3. Vodka 4. Sundry illegal non scripts 5. ipod to tune out the Cunta Kinta's ear splitting, senile racist rants...ah, better take 2 bottles of valium...someone might try to hug me...
With any luck I'll get arrested at the airport, here's hoping . Helping the police with their inquiries is a pretty watertight excuse not attend grandma's 80th isn't it? Who can blame me for that?
Hey All, Best Read This First:
Greetings and a warm welcome to my blog.
First things first
This blog contains words and references offensive to those who never made it through the maturation process.
The intellectually and psychologically impaired will find nothing here to enjoy.
If this applies to you, dear reader, you're welcome, and strongly encouraged to leave now. No hard feelings on my part.
I'm trying to make this clear to the 'boo hoo brigade". If you CANNOT grasp this simple concept. This page is NOT FOR YOU
REPEAT: WARNING: BLACK IRONY. NASTY SELF PISS TAKING HUMOUR. FUCK OFF NOW IF YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THIS. I WON'T MIND. EVER.
*PS: I'm pro Palestinian, pro animal rights in a way that pisses many people off. You should consider fucking off now if you object to this kind of thing.
PS This blog is not really fit for human consumption, it's best read as it was written, drunk on vodka or otherwise high as a kite...Enjoy...