Until you hang upon such a cross, you won't know a thing about laughter or loss...and you don't believe me now, but you will...you will, you wil you will you will...you will, you will - Titus Andronicus

Hey All, Best Read This First:

reetings and a warm welcome to my blog.

First things first

This blog contains words and references offensive to those who never made it through the maturation process.

The intellectually and psychologically impaired will find nothing here to enjoy.

If this applies to you, dear reader, you're welcome, and strongly encouraged to leave now. No hard feelings on my part.

I'm trying to make this clear to the 'boo hoo brigade". If you CANNOT grasp this simple concept. This page is NOT FOR YOU


*PS: I'm pro Palestinian, pro animal rights in a way that pisses many people off. You should consider fucking off now if you object to this kind of thing.

Cheers Kiddies.


PS This blog is not really fit for human consumption, it's best read as it was written, drunk on vodka or otherwise high as a kite...Enjoy...


Friday Summary

Good evening to all, it's Friday evening and the weekend slowly hoves into view. That's Nice. This is the one night of the week we can all get pissed with impunity. Let's face it, even in this atheistic age, we all (ok neurotic little old me at any rate) still feel a little ashamed to be waking up drunk as a Lord on Sunday, God's Day of Rest. Amen.

For me God is a bit like the Nosferatu... I don't believe in him, but I'm scared of him. I pack as much as I can into Friday and sober up innocent as a lamb before the Nosferatu on Sunday. I must have him fooled cos I always wake up fucking alive on Monday...some lame God.

Well goodness, what a week it's been. How about that old Cunta Kinta and her iron lungs huh? The sound of her screaming bloody fucking mad is still trapped like a recording in my head. Earlier today someone implied I said things to generate a bit of sensation, No! No! you silly spoilt half wit WASP amoeba halfwit, it's all true. Sorry to piss all over your fluffy McHappyland weltanschaung, but people like the Cunta Kinta DO exist. And frighteningly, they breed and produce offspring... as well as other disasters.

Ok, having covered God, the Mother...let me complete the unholy trinity with a look at Poll Results. Let's start with the Hugs Are Nice! poll: 36% agreed I was an emotional retard. This fulfills my masochistic needs so I'm very grateful. Thank you. A very impressive 54% agreed with me that Hugs are Cyber Fucking. Well, that's right too. Someone tried it on me today, I nearly lost it, seriously nearly cracked the fuck up....Moving on... I think the people that most impressed were the extremely deviant 36% who reported they secretly got off on hugs.

This may be the most fascinating twitter poll of all time. The next time someone offers someone else a hug I'm going to die laughing, well over a half will think they're being cyber fucked, and over a quarter will be quietly getting off. Fun times!

Ok devolving from God to the Cosmos: 38 % agree that the universe is a dark, chaotic and violent place (right you are) The McHappyLand voters were quite obviously joking or drunk so I won't even bother with them. 26 % rather creatively decided that the the whole thing was a figment of their imagination, and a sweetly naive 15% were rather surprised to find there was a universe. Well I admire them, that's the kind of oblivion I aim for on a daily basis.

What can I offer these geniuses? Perhaps an all expenses paid trip to that Eighth Wonder of the World, the psychopathic Cunta Kinta?...they may not know there's a universe...but they'll surely find there's a Hell...

Wishing you a hug free weekend;
Cheers and Love from your Friend

Sir Fudge Esq