Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to your lesson in, well, 'casual' German is one word for it. A couple of things to explain first. This was a lot easier in theory than in execution. In the interests of conciseness and saving you and I from mind numbing boredom, I omitted grammar and pronounciation notes. I'll furnish you with this fun stuff later.
Swine, shit, arses, and dirt are commonplace in German obscenity. More so than in English. In English where you guys use fuck in all kinds of ways, in German, we mostly use fuck to refer to well, fucking. Nevertheless, in German these words, depending on how they're used, have the same connotation and power of the word fuck. Don't go calling a German a shit, arse or swine unless you're prepared to answer for it.
You will most likely notice the section on getting laid, fucking and related is rather long and graphic, it's no use blaming me for this or suspecting perversion on my part, just as in English, in German there seems to be no end of euphamisms for genitalia and fornication. I left alot out I can tell you.
True to form, as I'm such a selfish cunt, I'm going to start with scenarios that interest me. Verpiss dich if you don't like it.
1. Scene: Getting high
a) kiffen: to toke
b) Joint: joint
c) Jamaikanische Luft: lit. "Jamaican air" ie. Weed.
d) knülle sein: to be stoned. (I use this word alot)
e) Kung Fu Puder: lit. "Kung Fu Powder" ie. Coke. (I think this is hysterically funny) Uppers suck by the way.
f) Spliffen: to smoke weed
g) Straff sein: to be loaded
h) suchten: to get hooked, to addict.
i) Kristaller: crackster, speed freak
j) Ticket: acid
k) Tüte: joint
l) Verballert: wasted
m) total verstrahlt sein: to be high as a kite
n) vollgequartzt zu sein: completely high
m) sich zudröhnen: to get wasted, stoned
n) Gärtner: Dealer
o) Abzocker: Hustler
p) Schlitzohr: crook
q) Rauschgift: smack, heroin.
2. Scene: telling someone to fuck off
a) Verpiss dich: Piss off / fuck off / get the fuck off
b) Du bist Scheiße: lit: you are shit. You suck
c) Hau ab: get lost, fuck off, Fuck you
d) sich verpissen: to fuck off
e) jemand ankotzen: to fuck somebody off
f) Leck mich am Arsch: kiss my arse, fuck off
g) Das geht mir am Arsch vorbei: I don't give a shit
g) Verpisst euch: fuck you all
h) Schnautze: shut up, lit. shut your snout
i) Es ist mir scheiß egal: I don't give a shit / I don't give a fuck
3. Insults.
a) Weichei: Wimp
b) Rindvieh: Moron
c) Rotznase: Prick, little snot
d) Faule Sack: lazy bum
e) Fuzzi: Nerd
f) Ablästern: to talk shit
g) Arsch mit Ohren: idiot (arse with ears)
h) Torte: tart
i) Sau: bitch, bastard
j) Schwein: bastard, son of a bitch, pig
k) Arschlecker: lit. arse licker, arse kisser, brown noser, (crawler)
l) Arschloch: Arsehole
m) Mistkerl: bastard, dirty swine
n) Miststück: bastard, bitch, piece of shit
o) Dampfwalze: lit. Steamroller, fatso
p) Schweinerei: pigsty, indecent act, mess, scandal
q) Schlapschwanz: lit. limp dick, wimp
r) Rüpel: Rogue, lout
s) Trottel: Jerk, idiot, also clumsy oaf
t) Arschkriecher: Arse crawler
u) Baddewannenpisser: lit. bathwater pisser, childish person
v) Schleimpatzen: Slimeheap, oder: Schleim: slime
4. Getting Laid, Body Parts, Fucking and related etc
a) blickficken: to fuck with the eyes
b) Puff: brothel
c)Hure, Nutte: Whore
d)Dirne: Hooker
e) Dirnenviertel: Red Light District
f) Bubistrich: Male Red Light District
g) Fünf gegen einen: lit. 5 against 1: to jerk off
h) Abmelken: jerk off
i) den Fisch fangen gehen: lit. to go catch the fish: to masturbate
j) Arschkordel: lit. arse rope: G-string
k) Arschgeweih: lit. arse antlers: lower back tattoo
l) Schlampenstampel: lit. Tramp stamp, slut stamp: lower back tattoo
m) geiler Bock: horny old goat
n) jemandem anmachen: to hit on someone
o) Knutschfleck: hickey
p) notgeil: horny
q) Brünstig: on heat
r) heiß sein: to be hot
s) dicke Eier haben: lit. to have big eggs (nuts), to be horny
t) Kavaliersschmerzen: lit. gentlemen's pain, blue balls
u) Fickbar: fuckable
v) Hurenbock: male slut
w) Flitchen: hussy
x) Schickse: slut
y) Schlampe: slut, tramp
z) Heißmacherin: lit. woman who gets one hot/horny, tease
aa) Schwanzfopper: prick tease
bb) Schwanzmagnet: lit. prick magnet, babe
cc) Andstandsfick: courtesy fuck
dd) bi: bisexual
ee) schwul: gay
ff) Analritter: lit. Anal knight. fag
gg) für die anderer Mannschaft spielen: to bat for the other side
hh) Leckschwester: lit. lick sister, lesbian
ii) Straßenhure: streetwalker
jj) Schwantzlutscher: cock sucker
kk) a tergo: doggy style
ll) flachlegen: to screw someone
mm) Möpse: tits
nn) Vorbau: rack
oo) Schamlippen: pussy lips
pp) Latte: hard on
qq) Aal: lit. eel, schlong
rr) Schwanz: lit. tail, prick
ss) Kronjuwelen: Crown jewels
tt) Kitzler: clit
uu) Muschi: pussy
vv) Möse: pussy
ww) Gummi: condom
xx) Präser: condom
yy) Mösenmoped: lit. vagina moped, vibrator
zz) einen Ständer haben: to get a hard on
a1) erschlaffen: to get soft, to go limp
b1) feucht werden: to get wet
c1) spitz sein: to be horny
d1) Mösensaft: Cunt juice
e1) Wermutstropfen: drops of pre cum
f1) jemandem einen blasen: to give someone a blow job
g1) aussaugen: to blow
h1) Blümchensex: dull standard sex, missionary
i1) es treiben: to fuck
j1) Bumsen: to shag
k1) Bollern: to fuck someone's brains out
l1) knallen: to fuck someone stupid
m1) geigen: to fuck
n1) nageln: to bone, to nail (fuck)
o1) Rammeln: to hump, be at it,
p1) vögeln: to screw
q1) besorgen: to fuck
r1) ficken: to fuck
s1) Natursekt: lit. nature's champagne, golden shower
t1) flotter dreier: threesome
u1) Lümmelgetümmel: group sex
v1) Mattratzenwunder: lit. mattress wonder, woman who is good in bed
w1) kommen: to cum
x1) abspritzen: to cum
y1) Soße: lit. sauce, cum
z1) Ficksahne: lit. Fuck cream: cum
5. Miscellaneous
a) Labern: to talk bullshit
b) Riß in der Schüssel: lit. to have a crack in the bowl, to be fucked in the head (insane)
c) Idiot: jerk, idiot
d) Hirnrissig: completely stupid
e) Nullchecker: moron
f) Klugscheißer: smart arse
g) Drecksack: scumbag
h) Drecksau: filty pig
i) Mafiatörtchen: Mafia tart
j) abschädeln: lit. to get off one's head: to booze it up
k) Schluckwunder: lit. swallowing wonder: drunk
l) sich die Kante geben: to get shit faced drunk
m) Puffbrause: champagne brothel lemonade
n) Strullen: to piss
o) Angepisst: to be pissed off
p) Chateau Migraine: lit. migraine castle, cheap wine.
q) Alkoholleiche: lit. alcohol corpse, to be passed out from booze
r) Brauereitumor: lit. brewery tumour, beer belly
Well, gentlemen, here endeth the lesson for today. I hope you learnt something useful.
Cheers
SFE x
FUCK! <-------- parts of this are very funny. Hope you enjoy it.
