Hey English speaking guys, I'm sorry about the whole German thing, I just love love the language, I think in it, read it, and dream in it, it feels more natural to me than English.
Let's face it, English is a practical and pragmatic language, it gets the job done, but it's not sexy. European languages are sexy with their rolled r's, soft vowels, and elevated emotionalism.
English is kind of emotionally eviscerated. Whereas in German one word can be incredibly evocative of a myriad of things, like the beautiful words: "innerlichkeit" and "menschlichkeit" (as two examples out of thousands) one needs to be very clever with many English words indeed to express what these single words can suggest. We all know that brevity is the soul of wit? Well, this is why Germans are more witty than English speakers. We can say it in 2 words, you guys need 20.
I don't expect to have many friends after this, it's ok, I quite like being a pariah. Anyway, the point of all this is, I like expressing myself in German. It's a hot language, in spite of all the puerile Post WWII propaganda German speaking people had to endure. Victors write the history books, it's the same the throughout history the world over.
Anyway, over the next few posts I'm going to give you a Go Card to German, well, specifically, to German Expletives. I know them all: the good, the bad, the ugly and the downright nauseating. I'm very very proud of my mastery of English expletives, I can out cuss most people and this makes me happy. But my mastery of German filth is second to none. Surprised? Knew you would be.
Well, kiddies, I guess that's it. I have a fucking headache, I'm getting another bad head cold, I never usually get snot, mostly just glands and a head that wants explode like a young man's cum.
PS: I'm behind in my twitter homework. Sincere apologies to Herr Gänsefüßchen Mookie Gänsefüßchen (that is Herr @Schnille to anyone sane) to @CathyKeisha @Herbie_Cat and @Sir_Bailey, I have so much I promised to send to you cool guys and I will soon, a combination of being ill and slow connection has hindered me. I feel bad about this.
PPS: Have you heard Wildboutbirds and the gorgeous @thatStripeyCat are tying the knot? They're quite finicky about arrangements, and even have a classy wedding planner in @HollieFerguson. It's being staged somewhere in Virginia, aren't there still cowboys and Indians there? Good lord. What's wrong with Moscow Central Registrar? Turn up, yes yes, sign sign, Done. Next Please.
All over before some ornery old babushka screams "Nyet!"
...And her future son in law mutters: "Nekrič tak, fucking babushka..."
See you soon for your first Lesson - "Cuss Like an Obnoxious Cunt in German"
Auf wiedersehen Kiddies x
Hey All, Best Read This First:
Greetings and a warm welcome to my blog.
First things first
This blog contains words and references offensive to those who never made it through the maturation process.
The intellectually and psychologically impaired will find nothing here to enjoy.
If this applies to you, dear reader, you're welcome, and strongly encouraged to leave now. No hard feelings on my part.
I'm trying to make this clear to the 'boo hoo brigade". If you CANNOT grasp this simple concept. This page is NOT FOR YOU
REPEAT: WARNING: BLACK IRONY. NASTY SELF PISS TAKING HUMOUR. FUCK OFF NOW IF YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THIS. I WON'T MIND. EVER.
*PS: I'm pro Palestinian, pro animal rights in a way that pisses many people off. You should consider fucking off now if you object to this kind of thing.
PS This blog is not really fit for human consumption, it's best read as it was written, drunk on vodka or otherwise high as a kite...Enjoy...