Until you hang upon such a cross, you won't know a thing about laughter or loss...and you don't believe me now, but you will...you will, you wil you will you will...you will, you will - Titus Andronicus

Hey All, Best Read This First:

reetings and a warm welcome to my blog.

First things first

This blog contains words and references offensive to those who never made it through the maturation process.

The intellectually and psychologically impaired will find nothing here to enjoy.

If this applies to you, dear reader, you're welcome, and strongly encouraged to leave now. No hard feelings on my part.

I'm trying to make this clear to the 'boo hoo brigade". If you CANNOT grasp this simple concept. This page is NOT FOR YOU


*PS: I'm pro Palestinian, pro animal rights in a way that pisses many people off. You should consider fucking off now if you object to this kind of thing.

Cheers Kiddies.


PS This blog is not really fit for human consumption, it's best read as it was written, drunk on vodka or otherwise high as a kite...Enjoy...


The Chemical Wedding: I'll take you over...

Hello, hopefully somewhere, somehow, you're enjoying some sunshine or at least a break in the gloom. Although I prefer rain and snow myself. Sunshine is so...bland, somehow. Well, anyway.

I did warn you a little while ago that I'm rather taken with the love of my life with whom I've recently been reunified, and that this rekindled affair has taken me over somewhat, as you are no doubt aware if you've been reading this blog.

I'm often asked what it's like, well, there is no describing it. Let me simply say, when I'm enveloped in smack's embrace, you could break my leg and I would not give a fuck one way or the other. It is heaven on earth.

Most people then go on to ask me all kinds things, like injecting, how long it lasts etc.

1. I quite like injecting. I don't know why, it has a charm of it's own. It's a terrible backhander from nature that my veins are quite deep, so I have to pump that S.O.B up till it raises. I have to wait, loaded needle between the teeth while I keep the tourniquet nice and tight. Once the fucker is raised, I then have to hold one end of the tourniquet between my teeth to keep it nice and tight while I inject. It's not the sort of thing one can ask a neighbour to come over and help with, obviously.
Here's an important tip: make sure you tap the air bubbles out or you're in trouble. Slip it in, push, done, over in less than a few seconds. If you prefer to drink it, you can, but it's not as good. My advice is, inject, you get more bang for your buck.

Another tip, hold the needle parallel (close) to your arm. That way you have less chance of popping your vein. I've never done this (thank God) but I've heard it's not nice. So the higher you can raise the vein, the better you can see what you are doing.
Oh, and always keep yourself well hydrated. Your veins become even harder to find if you neglect this. God help you if you bruise yourself, injecting through a bruise is pure agony, but if you're not ambidextrous, you may have to. So be careful.

2. Heroin is a 'downer' that doesn't mean it depresses you, it just means it's calming. Some people throw up but no matter, you still get your high.

3. Uppers, (stimulants, amphetamines, amphetamine derivatives, "speed" cocaine, caffeine, alcohol etc and other kinds of garbage) are much more popular than smack. I think the reason for this is, people (rightly) fear the addictiveness of smack, and, taken with other drugs (as it often is) such as alcohol, uppers, or taken in an inferior form it does wreck the body. But if you eschew all other Gods, you'll be fine with smack. It is relatively non toxic to the body, it really just goes straight to the brain and binds with your opioid receptors.

So you need not turn into one of those wasted zombies (gaunt, hard faced and sunken eyed) these poor sods have spent a lifetime injecting el cheapo smack (although the pure stuff is becoming cheaper) as well as throwing anything else down their throats or up their arms that they can find.
I only use smack now. Maybe a joint in the morning, cos it's so nice, but nothing else, no alcohol, caffeine, certainly not speed or cocaine which to me is just fucking battery acid.

4. I know many people are disgusted by the thought of injecting drugs, but you know, someone once told me, (and Christ I wish they hadn't, the mental imagery is revolting) that they snorted so much amphetamine that they often wake covered in blood from their nose. For fuck's sake...I cringe every time I think of it.

5. How long does the smack high last? Well, it varies depending on quality, amount and the individual user. For me, the actual high lasts for a few glorious hours, but the residual 'feel good' can hang around for a few days for me. But I'm very sensitive to anything, so what may be true for me, won't be true for others.

6. Would I recommend it? Yes

A: Most people's personalities could be vastly improved by having smack drip fed to them 24/7.

B: It never makes people violent. I've heard of alcohol psychosis, speed psychosis, cocaine/crack cocaine psychosis, amphetamine psychosis, even caffeine psychosis, but never heroin psychosis.

C: The feeling is beyond description. To uptight, anxious people like me, it's like a few hours of respite from our exhausted adrenals.

D: It is pure beauty. That's all. Palestrina is pure music, Heroin is pure beauty. That's all I can say.

E: The "Hollywood" junkie stereotype (like most that comes out of Hollywood) is complete garbage. Stupid people will always find some way to fuck up their lives whether it's heroin, alcohol, cigarettes (ever been in a cancer ward? The smokers are the most pitiful). The hooker junkie is a product of some over stimulated (notoriously cocaine) fat middle aged Hollywood producer's imagination, with one hand he's playing with himself while he's fantasizing about this puerile shit. It's not quite the one way ticket to hell of popular imagination.

7. Would I recommend it? No

A: The addiction really really sucks. It feels like there is no way out

B: You are always wearing long sleeves. Unless you have the balls to pretend you're a diabetic or something, your public bathing days are over.

C: You are always having to rethink things eg: I have to go and see X, he doesn't know I use, ok, so I have to plan my stoning carefully, (you have to think when your next hit is due, and where you can find some private to shoot up, will you be able wear sunglasses to hide dilated pupils etc etc etc) Life gets more complicated.

D: Weaning yourself off heroin is hell on earth. Of course it's different from person to person, but to put the matter bluntly: more than likely, it's really going to fucking hurt you.

E: You become vulnerable to predatory people (including the police), you must be careful, you are indulging in an act which because it is criminalised, puts you at a distinct legal and social disadvantage.

F: Did I mention how addictive it is? You have to pay for your smack, the average user eventually shoots up say 4 times a day. That's a lot of houses to burgle, or a lot of money to wheedle out of Daddy Rich Bucks or lots of Cunta Cash.

The last thing I want to say is that, although injecting oneself seems scary to many people, have you ever given any thought to how awful it is to have abrasive amphetamine forced up your nostrils, burning away at delicate nasal tissue? There are people who have snorted so much the middle divider (I can't recall it's name, I don't want to either, the whole thing disgusts me) of the nasal passages is gonski. What the fuck? No no no...never ever.... not me kiddies.

"The deeper you stick it in your vein
the deeper the thought: there's no more pain...

Nothing means a thing to me...
Oh nothing means a thing to me..."

K: "Not an Addict"

This is really a didactic piece, not one that invites comment, you can either read it and learn from it, or ignore it. There's no other real response possible. You may want to relate your own experience, well, you can do that on your own blog or ask me to post it here for you. Anyway, the upshot is, I'm disabling comments on this.