Hey All, Best Read This First:
Greetings and a warm welcome to my blog.
First things first
This blog contains words and references offensive to those who never made it through the maturation process.
The intellectually and psychologically impaired will find nothing here to enjoy.
If this applies to you, dear reader, you're welcome, and strongly encouraged to leave now. No hard feelings on my part.
I'm trying to make this clear to the 'boo hoo brigade". If you CANNOT grasp this simple concept. This page is NOT FOR YOU
REPEAT: WARNING: BLACK IRONY. NASTY SELF PISS TAKING HUMOUR. FUCK OFF NOW IF YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THIS. I WON'T MIND. EVER.
*PS: I'm pro Palestinian, pro animal rights in a way that pisses many people off. You should consider fucking off now if you object to this kind of thing.
PS This blog is not really fit for human consumption, it's best read as it was written, drunk on vodka or otherwise high as a kite...Enjoy...
I'm the world's worst salesman, I know... I'm doing my best...
I'm going to try to be much more concise and tight than my last post which was really sloppy and awful. I was ill again. I still feel drained, but not so bad. Ok, Let's go:
1. The greyhound type dog is the world's oldest purpose bred dog. There's nothing extraordinary about this: they are after all a hound ie: a hunting dog. Early Mankind lived by hunting and gathering. Crop raising came later and reshaped human society in profound ways.
2. The hound group of dogs is very different to other types of more "down home" dogs. If you get a hound, don't think you're getting a garden variety dog. All breeds have their differences, but hounds are exeptionally different (and exeptionally fascinating) in striking ways
3. The first remains of Greyhound type dogs, found in Catal-Hayuk (now south-west Turkey) date to 6000 BC. Greyhounds walked the earth in the times before monotheism was conceived of. Think about that. These are dogs who profoundly share our history and struggles in a way no designer poochie poo can ever claim to. It's awesome.(Remember, we are talking just over 8000 years of shared history, it's fucking mind blowing)
4. A funerary vase dating from 4000 BC decorated with greyhounds has been found in what is now Iran. Craftsmanship was not the mass produced crap of today, it took extraordinary talent, patience and hours of practice. If your image made it onto pottery, you were something special. This is how greyhounds used to be regarded.
5. Ancient Egypt, like cats, greyhounds were practically worshipped. Tutankhamen, Amenhotep II, Thutmose III and Queen Hatsheput kept greys. Cleopatra loved them too.
6. They are the ONLY breed of dog mentioned in the bible: The citation is: Proverbs 30: 29-31:
"There be three things which go well, yea,
Which are comely in going:
A lion, which is the strongest among beasts
and turneth not away from any;
A he goat also."
Considering the ancient Israelites didn't particularly think much of dogs, this is something quite incredible.
7. Ancient Greece: When the Greeks first met greyhounds in Egypt, being the highly intelligent people they were, they knew a good thing when they saw it, they brought these precious dogs back with them. Alexander the Great had a Greyhound, he called him Peritas.
7A. Greyhounds are the first dog mentioned in literature: The grey's name was Argus, he was the faithful dog of Odysseus in Homer's The Odyssey. It's a fantastic story, worthy of this stunning dog's debut in literature.
7B. Greek Mythology: Hecate, Goddess of wealth, Pollux, protector of The Hunt and Artemis all had greyhounds.
8. Rome; The Romans, who were a practical people (they invented concrete) pretty much appropriated anything of cultural value from the Greeks, so of course, the greyhound made his debut in Roman hearts and minds as well. Their Gods and Goddesses had greyhounds, best known of these were Diana and Procris.
9. Medieval and Renaissance Ages: Clergymen saved the greyhound from near extinction during these times punctuated by regular outbreaks of plague. As the Church was closely related to Monarchy, the love of greyhounds filtered through to Royalty of this period. Only Royalty could own a greyhound. In 1016, King Canute passed a law prohibiting any "meane person" (meane denoting "low born") from having a greyhound.
In the early 10th century (900s) the Welsh King Howell decreed that killing a greyhound attracted the same punishment as killing a man, that is: death. (where oh where is King Howell when we need him now?)
9A. Greyhounds were the first dog written about in the English language: it was Chaucer in the late 14thc (late 1300s) who wrote in "The Canterbury Tales" :
"Greyhounds he hadde as swift as fowels in flight"
Shakespeare, getting in on the act wrote in Henry V (a great play by the way) :
"I see you stand like Greyhounds in the slips, Straining upon the start. The game's afoot"
An exceptionally sweet medieval adage is: "A greyhound should be headed like a snake, footed like a drake, sided like a bream, and shyned like beam!" (adorable!)
There was in mid 13 centry (ca 1250) legend of a greyhound saint Guinefort. This canonization of a greyhound by "the people" was suppressed by the church who saw it as dangerous "superstition". You can easily find the story anywhere. I have an essay on the subject I might reproduce in another post if I can find it.
9B: Art of the Renaissance: In terms of all the arts, especially visual, it's perfectly legitimate to posit that Western Man reached his highest achievement in the Medieval to Rococo ages.. The people of this time knew the value of beauty and emotion. So of course, the greyhound pops up in the paintings and sculpture of this period. Eg: the artists Veronese, Pisanello and Ucello, but you'll find many more.
Something quite beautiful to notice is that the greyhound as depicted in art of thousands to the hundreds of years ago, changes very little. What you see today when you look at a grey, is what your ancestors of many many centuries ago saw and loved.
10. England: the greyhound is tinkered around a bit in it's breeding to no ill purpose, you would be surprised to find out how many breeds have greyhound in them.
11. America: Believe me, I'm not America bashing, there is much I love about America, especially it's minority cultures, but facts are facts, it's in this land that Greyhounds become the abused slaves of the racing track. This evil and revolting development began ca 1900 and spread like a cancer to other lands. I'm not going to elaborate here, but I am going to show in pictures (yes they are beyond distressing) what has happened and is happening to this amazing dog that shared so much of our history and lives with us.
Couple of other Sweet Things about Greyhounds: Many will stand up and "hug" you, my grey does this, she makes these odd little "oomph" noises as though she trying as hard as she can to express happiness. She'll stand on her hind legs and "hug" me for as long as I'll let her. If I kneel down for her, she'll wrap her arms around me all day if I let her. It's especially sweet as she was so depressed, lifeless and deeply withdrawn when she first came to live with us.
Many greys are known for "grinning" they'll actually smile at you showing their teeth. It's so sweet, not all do it, mine only half does it. It's the cutest goofiest thing.
Greyhounds are famous for "leaning" on people. They just lean on you, it's a friendly gesture from an inherently warm, loving dog, signifying trust.
Warning: the following imgages are distressing. I'm so sorry, I wish this wasn't happening, but it is. It's just as cruel and culpable to pretend it isn't. But I don't blame anyone for not wanting to look, I really don't.
PLEASE HELP US. WE ARE DEFENCELESS DOGS, WE ARE STARVED, TORTURED, BEATEN, MUTILATED, MURDERED BY THE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS EVERY YEAR.
PLEASE HELP US
Posted by Sir Fudge Esq at 2:42 PM