Hello everyone, I'm still not quite over the brain atrophying effects of my last little adventure in self medication. But I wouldn't expect to be. I was bad bad bad.
Ah well, I could have been a lot worse.
Anyhow, to the business of this post which is really just more crap from yours truly. I have to get back on with other things instead I'm wanking myself on this shit fest of a blog. Ah well.
Ok, have you ever noticed those poor sods who tweet: "EEEk! I'm 5 followers away from (whatever their pointless goal is), please help!"
I can't help thinking, look, really
1. It's embarrassing to go begging for more follows.
2. Who fucking cares how many follows you have? It means nothing.
3. Even an idiot knows how to get more follows.
Here's what you do:
1. Keep your account unlocked, let every bit of garbage fly in. Even porn bots.
2. Never say anything remotely intelligent, or express an intelligent opinion
3. You can be as bitchy as you want, just put a MOL! BOL! (or my favourite) *Nosetaps* at the end of your tweet, it's your Go Card to Cuntism.
4. Whore yourself out on every occasion possible. Find a band wagon and get on it: pawcircles, esp will get you the boo hoo vote
5. Do lots of RTs. It's a wonderful method of crawling up everyone's asses and it saves you from ever having to say anything that requires intelligence.
6. Be: Asexual, Unintelligent, Banal, Moronic Republican (now I've been stupid! that's a fucking tautology if ever there was one!)
If you follow these rules you should reach some meaningless number in no time at all. As for me? Naturally I do everything wrong.
In fact, I try my hardest at keeping my account free of crap. When I block/remove people I don't like, they become extremely irate. Who knows why? I've never understood why a tiny, shrill minority gets upset if they can no longer speak to me/bitch at me. And they are a tiny minority notwithstanding how many porn bots amongst their follows.
Just ignore the retards is my advice.
