Until you hang upon such a cross, you won't know a thing about laughter or loss...and you don't believe me now, but you will...you will, you wil you will you will...you will, you will - Titus Andronicus

Hey All, Best Read This First:

reetings and a warm welcome to my blog.

First things first

This blog contains words and references offensive to those who never made it through the maturation process.

The intellectually and psychologically impaired will find nothing here to enjoy.

If this applies to you, dear reader, you're welcome, and strongly encouraged to leave now. No hard feelings on my part.

I'm trying to make this clear to the 'boo hoo brigade". If you CANNOT grasp this simple concept. This page is NOT FOR YOU


*PS: I'm pro Palestinian, pro animal rights in a way that pisses many people off. You should consider fucking off now if you object to this kind of thing.

Cheers Kiddies.


PS This blog is not really fit for human consumption, it's best read as it was written, drunk on vodka or otherwise high as a kite...Enjoy...


King Neptune

Allo! I  hope your little world is spinning away on it's axis just fine for you, in perfect counterpoint to the mad, insane universe even. We had no choice but to endure it as best we can, let's stop with the mindless waffle and get on with things, shall we? Shall we boys n girls? I think it behooves us to do so.

  My fish are having babies all over the place. 5 sets of eggs/fry from (obviously enough) 5 fish mothers. I am inarguably the Jacques Cousteau of the suburban fish tank. And by (only a slight) extension of the metaphor: King Neptune.

  Real fishkeeping is for intelligent, calm, observant people. It's a blokes thing, obviously. You have to measure and test chemicals, and fish are slimey. 1. Chicks are no good at science. 2. Fish look nothing like fluffy cuddly baby substitutes. 3.women only like dishwater. tank water's too icky poo for 'em. 4. you can't put a pink ribbon around a Jack Dempsey and take him to a cafe in your little chi chi handbag. Now can you?

  Don't even start with the handbag swingin' n pot n pan rattling girly. BUT, if you are a lesbian, please swing by, say hi, and tell me what on earth it is that you do for sex?! I mean, you have no penis...so...??? I'll listen with every appearance of respect. I promise.

Ok, I'm off now to keep on packing those boxes... My blue gourami should arrive today or today or tomorrow. That's monumental. I know.

All the best, cheers and lots of lesbo love if that's what gets you through the night, I just wanna know how... y'know? curious.

          xo and xoxo.