Hello Dear Reader,
So nice to see Friday again, this is just a quick good bye for the weekend. We have guests, so I don't expect to be around very much.
These are nice guests, quiet, intelligent, educated. We're just going to sit around, listen to Radiohead, get high and talk pseudo intellectual bullshit....you know... as well as generally blame vacuous, materialistic, society for all our addictions and afflictions... just as one would expect a bunch of fucked up whining prozac bombed out losers to...
So, I'll see you on the other side my friends, wish you could all be here,
Enjoy #Dudefest if you're going,
otherwise it's Goodbye and Love from
Your Friend
Sir Fudge Esq x
Until you hang upon such a cross, you won't know a thing about laughter or loss...and you don't believe me now, but you will...you will, you wil you will you will...you will, you will - Titus Andronicus
14.11.09
12.11.09
Email: Isn't Pairing up on Twitter Weird?
Dear Sir Fudge Esq
What are your thoughts on anipals pairing up on twitter and getting married. I know you're going to say everyone can do their own thing, but I definitely think it's strange. What must non anipals on twitter think of us?
Signed
Nonplussed
Dear Nonplussed
Thanks indeed for this email. To be quite honest with you, I really don't have an opinion that can neatly answer for, or account for this phenomenon.
But I suppose I have to start somewhere and the first thing that comes to mind is, for every single account on twitter, there is a different motivation for creating it. What does this mean in terms of the question you asked? It means that it's unlikely any one explanation or opinion can rationalize or account for twitter relationships.
One starting point I suppose, is to accept that the personalities of the different avatars reflect the personalities and aspirations of the people behind them. Some people (many probably) believe in marriage for all sorts of reasons. So it's not surprising that this extends into their twitter world.
Some time ago, a friend of mine submitted an email to me which I've posted here explaining the pleasure derived from losing herself in her creation. Her email brilliantly articulated the forgetting of reality and it's conflicts with desire and aspiration.
In other words, in cyber space, an ideal aspirational world is created. I think that's why, sometimes, I'm disliked by a certain type of tweep, it's not in my nature to pretend things are other than as they are. I can't pretend I live in an innocent world of plague ratsies and catnip duckies. There's nothing wrong with these things, I just lack the imagination to pretend even in cyber space, that the world is like that. It's my failing, not anyone else's.
To return to your email, what are my thoughts, and your supposition it's a little weird, the best way for me to answer is that no, it's not weird, it's simply an extension of a world view and an aspiration. It's no more illegitimate than my cynicism or repudiation of a McHappyLand world view. For every avatar/account there is a world view, aspiration being expressed, however unconsciously.
I've also learnt that no one on twitter is isolated. There's room enough for all of us, and everyone can find their niche. Even someone like me who is pretty vulgar and cretinous , I find plenty of people to shoot the breeze with, they accept all of my idiocy and I truly love and respect them for it. I'll admit, that like you, there are some things I struggle to understand. But just because I don't understand it doesn't make it unreasonable, it just means I lack the imagination or perspective to understand it.
And finally, I don't know why, but the idea of tweeps having relationships really appeals to me. I'm not sure why that is, maybe because these relationships are strong clues to understanding the personalities involved, maybe because it appeals to my love of social gossip, who knows? Who cares? In the end, who gives a fuck what I or you or anyone thinks? My advice to all is just be free. You don't know when your time here is up, let go of all the shit. Cyberspace is an arena where it costs us absolutely nothing to live and let live.
Just be free.
What are your thoughts on anipals pairing up on twitter and getting married. I know you're going to say everyone can do their own thing, but I definitely think it's strange. What must non anipals on twitter think of us?
Signed
Nonplussed
Dear Nonplussed
Thanks indeed for this email. To be quite honest with you, I really don't have an opinion that can neatly answer for, or account for this phenomenon.
But I suppose I have to start somewhere and the first thing that comes to mind is, for every single account on twitter, there is a different motivation for creating it. What does this mean in terms of the question you asked? It means that it's unlikely any one explanation or opinion can rationalize or account for twitter relationships.
One starting point I suppose, is to accept that the personalities of the different avatars reflect the personalities and aspirations of the people behind them. Some people (many probably) believe in marriage for all sorts of reasons. So it's not surprising that this extends into their twitter world.
Some time ago, a friend of mine submitted an email to me which I've posted here explaining the pleasure derived from losing herself in her creation. Her email brilliantly articulated the forgetting of reality and it's conflicts with desire and aspiration.
In other words, in cyber space, an ideal aspirational world is created. I think that's why, sometimes, I'm disliked by a certain type of tweep, it's not in my nature to pretend things are other than as they are. I can't pretend I live in an innocent world of plague ratsies and catnip duckies. There's nothing wrong with these things, I just lack the imagination to pretend even in cyber space, that the world is like that. It's my failing, not anyone else's.
To return to your email, what are my thoughts, and your supposition it's a little weird, the best way for me to answer is that no, it's not weird, it's simply an extension of a world view and an aspiration. It's no more illegitimate than my cynicism or repudiation of a McHappyLand world view. For every avatar/account there is a world view, aspiration being expressed, however unconsciously.
I've also learnt that no one on twitter is isolated. There's room enough for all of us, and everyone can find their niche. Even someone like me who is pretty vulgar and cretinous , I find plenty of people to shoot the breeze with, they accept all of my idiocy and I truly love and respect them for it. I'll admit, that like you, there are some things I struggle to understand. But just because I don't understand it doesn't make it unreasonable, it just means I lack the imagination or perspective to understand it.
And finally, I don't know why, but the idea of tweeps having relationships really appeals to me. I'm not sure why that is, maybe because these relationships are strong clues to understanding the personalities involved, maybe because it appeals to my love of social gossip, who knows? Who cares? In the end, who gives a fuck what I or you or anyone thinks? My advice to all is just be free. You don't know when your time here is up, let go of all the shit. Cyberspace is an arena where it costs us absolutely nothing to live and let live.
Just be free.
11.11.09
Textbook Example of how to Make Me Puke
I really should have posted more by now. The fault lies with the team behind this blog. (See intro section) Those guys just really go off. By the time they've gone I'm just a fucking mess. But hey, there's worse things...I could be a 12 year old Arab boy under an Israeli jeep being accidentally mown over 4 or 5 times for the fun of it...The world is nice!
Have you ever the had the experience where someone is deliberately trying to piss you off, but they're pretending they're actually being nice? You know:
Jealous Uptight Arsehole: "Oh, some people say you're a nasty low down piece of shit, I don't know why they'd say that!! : (nose tap!! :))
Me: "Oh? Really?, who's some people?" (Fuck you two faced obsequious cunt)
Jealous Uptight Arsehole: "I don't remember" (nose tap!! :))
Me: "Well, what the fuck do they say? (You are so fucking full of shit)
Jealous Uptight Arsehole: "They say that you're a rude, uncouth, sick piece of trash" (nose tap!! BIG HUGZ!! :))
Me: "Me? rude? uncouth? sick trash? (Go fuck yourself, one finger salute!! :))
Jealous Uptight Arsehole: "I'm only telling you what other people say sweetie" (XXX ;) Kisses!!! )
Me: "You are making me so fucking nauseous, go fuck yourself" (gag retch vomit)
Jealous Uptight Arsehole :"Ooooohhhh, you nasty prick!! See? you ARE a rude piece of trash!" (nosetaps! :))!!
Some people really are like this. I loathe them so...
8.11.09
Ruminating like a Happy Cow
Dear Reader
I'm so glad last week is dead and gone. Finito. I was truly exhausted and drained. No gas left in the tank. For all those who expressed concern, thanks very much indeed, but you never need to worry about me. Ever. Planet Fudge might be deranged and chaotic, but it's pretty much unsinkable. It's a floater, not a sinker.
There was nothing wrong with me that my ipod, happy pills etc, and black as sin, dry as toast humour couldn't cure. I don't take the shit fest that seriously; neurosis, paranoia, substance abuse, psychological instability, whatever, it's all a huge joke and it keeps me entertained for hours. I never worry about any of it, so don't you either.
We're all going to die of something, and once we go, none of this will matter to us anymore. None of it. No need to get overly fixated on or fucked up about oneself. Let it go. Just be free.
Who's constantly happy/emotionally stable anyway? a fucking cow in a field chewing grass all day. Barely a sentient being...and just as fascinating. I prefer the mercurial and angst ridden to the dumb happy fuck that's never had an original thought in his head, who's greatest desire is to fill up on McShitFood while he's loses himself in tv land... and kids himself he's a happy, happy regular guy.
I think the nicest thing that was said about my blog came from someone on DM, they said "... it feels good to be reminded that I'm not alone, that dysfunction is everywhere..."
Right you are my dear. It is everywhere. But you know, it's worst amongst those who won't admit that they are... and we all are.
I'm so glad last week is dead and gone. Finito. I was truly exhausted and drained. No gas left in the tank. For all those who expressed concern, thanks very much indeed, but you never need to worry about me. Ever. Planet Fudge might be deranged and chaotic, but it's pretty much unsinkable. It's a floater, not a sinker.
There was nothing wrong with me that my ipod, happy pills etc, and black as sin, dry as toast humour couldn't cure. I don't take the shit fest that seriously; neurosis, paranoia, substance abuse, psychological instability, whatever, it's all a huge joke and it keeps me entertained for hours. I never worry about any of it, so don't you either.
We're all going to die of something, and once we go, none of this will matter to us anymore. None of it. No need to get overly fixated on or fucked up about oneself. Let it go. Just be free.
Who's constantly happy/emotionally stable anyway? a fucking cow in a field chewing grass all day. Barely a sentient being...and just as fascinating. I prefer the mercurial and angst ridden to the dumb happy fuck that's never had an original thought in his head, who's greatest desire is to fill up on McShitFood while he's loses himself in tv land... and kids himself he's a happy, happy regular guy.
I think the nicest thing that was said about my blog came from someone on DM, they said "... it feels good to be reminded that I'm not alone, that dysfunction is everywhere..."
Right you are my dear. It is everywhere. But you know, it's worst amongst those who won't admit that they are... and we all are.
7.11.09
Friday (Late) Sum Up
Dear Reader;
I hope you're well, and if you are, I wish I could share that feeling of wellness with you. This week has been, to put it mildly, a shit fest. Don't get me wrong, some very nice things happened too. But I'd have to say, on the whole, it was exhausting and odious.
The worst of it was, it all went wrong due to my own half-wittedness. On more than several occasions I unintentionally caused hurt by blundering about with my usual insensitive bullshit, (I have no tact!) whenever I tried to be nice it all went pear shaped, in the end I just retreated into my mushy marshmellow, but even that evoked ill feeling, some tweeps became a little testy because they thought I was avoiding them.
However, it gets worse. I have another account I tweet from. ParanoidAdroid. I use this account when I want to talk to someone privately, could be to discuss new adventures in self medication, politics, religion or just filthy smut. Essentially, stuff that's not fit for the timeline. Anyway, I'd signed out of Sir Fudge Esq and into ParanoidAdroid. BUT, for some reason, Twitter synced the two accounts (I've since learned that I need to close firefox first).
Oh woe...The upshot was, I thought I was nice and cosy with a close friend smoking weed and bragging about being high as a fucking kite, head like a ferris wheel in slow motion, making all kinds of risque remarks, along with usual expletives, and it was being broadcast to the fucking timeline! @#!$$!!^%$!! Aaaaaghghggh, cringe. To make matters worse, I was so stoned, I sent what was intended as a DM to the timeline as well. Pure genius!
Oh, God, for my sins thou hast made me a blithering idiot...
The only saving grace was that we hadn't moved on to the really foul smut talk. You know before I was on prozac, I was completely insane, but very switched on to everything. Now I'm calmer, but stupider, I used to be so obsessive about making things work properly, now it's like, ah, so fucking what, who cares, someone will sort it for me... I seem to be experiencing a kind of degenerative psychological regression, but...ah,... so fucking what... who cares...someone will sort it for me...somehow...
And how to top all this off? I'm supposed to ring the Cunta Kinta tonight. Two hours of her screaming into my fucking ears till they bleed. Screaming about what? About every non white who ever walked the earth. About communists, about the bloody weather, about capitalists, about druggies, (!) about our dear Vati who drank himself to death, about Americans, about the English, (in short, all non Germans, but the Italians are ok, apparently she met one she liked!) about the bourgeoisie, about the European Union, about Slavic people, Russians especially, about the blade of grass that's higher than the others, about the uncle who didn't wear a tie to the dinner table and didn't eat all his food and slopped a spot on his shirt (he's 50 for Christ's sake!) etc about me not having graduated yet....all of this is the stuff of high voltage simmering rage for her...and reason for me to heavily self medicate about fifteen minutes before I ring....
Ah well, something to look forward to... once I'm high, it's certain to be a meeting of great minds...
Wishing you a Cunta free weekend, (pray for me tonight)
Cheers, Grumps and Love, From your friend,
Sir Fudge Esq.
4.11.09
Advice on How not to Look Like an Idiot When Dumped
I prefer to be dumped then to dump. I don't really know what to say when someone sends a go between to find out why I unfollowed, blocked, whatever. What I really want to say is "Use your fucking head retard, you're just pointless clutter on my timeline, we don't like each other so why not cut the bullshit and just say our goodbyes".
I get exhausted by having to pretend I like someone. I find bullshit consumes too much energy. I just don't want to - especially not when I'm trashed.
The other thing I don't understand is why some take it personally when they are unfollowed? It's no big deal, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, not everyone likes everyone, it would be bizarre to expect them to. You would have to have the personality of a fucking egg to be everybody's love dumpling. The saying goes: "If you have no enemies, you have no character."
What really grates is when someone I've unfollowed and removed from follows, starts fucking screaming on the public timeline "Ooooohh!! that prick Sir Fudge blocked me" I'm not kidding this has happened about 5 times. Never blocked these wankers, but they want to enjoy their moment of bleeding and spraying in public. There there little one...hurt egos need to hit back. I understand...
May I offer some advice to these half witted drama queens?... Why don't you just go fuck yourself. Grow up. Why not take a look at your own behaviour, the way you say things, the things you've said, you may find the answer there? Don't expect me to explain your weirdo fucked up shit fest psychology, that's your, not my, responsibility.
I unfollowed and removed you from follows because I just don't like you or gel with you, is that so fucking difficult to understand?
If you never forgive me this apparently heinous offence, at least give me credit for brutal honesty, and frankly, I would much rather deal with the straightforwardly brutally honest than the type of slimy, condescending, obsequious cunt that insults me and gives me a fucking nose tap at the same time; Ugh!! get off me you disgusting slime. FU.
I get exhausted by having to pretend I like someone. I find bullshit consumes too much energy. I just don't want to - especially not when I'm trashed.
The other thing I don't understand is why some take it personally when they are unfollowed? It's no big deal, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, not everyone likes everyone, it would be bizarre to expect them to. You would have to have the personality of a fucking egg to be everybody's love dumpling. The saying goes: "If you have no enemies, you have no character."
What really grates is when someone I've unfollowed and removed from follows, starts fucking screaming on the public timeline "Ooooohh!! that prick Sir Fudge blocked me" I'm not kidding this has happened about 5 times. Never blocked these wankers, but they want to enjoy their moment of bleeding and spraying in public. There there little one...hurt egos need to hit back. I understand...
May I offer some advice to these half witted drama queens?... Why don't you just go fuck yourself. Grow up. Why not take a look at your own behaviour, the way you say things, the things you've said, you may find the answer there? Don't expect me to explain your weirdo fucked up shit fest psychology, that's your, not my, responsibility.
I unfollowed and removed you from follows because I just don't like you or gel with you, is that so fucking difficult to understand?
If you never forgive me this apparently heinous offence, at least give me credit for brutal honesty, and frankly, I would much rather deal with the straightforwardly brutally honest than the type of slimy, condescending, obsequious cunt that insults me and gives me a fucking nose tap at the same time; Ugh!! get off me you disgusting slime. FU.
DM Etiquette: How not to be an Obnoxious Dickhead
Have you ever had the experience of being in several conversations at once, having a great time, and some one shouts "DM!" at you? Not "hey I sent you a dm, whenever you've the got the time," or "I'm really sorry but it's pretty urgent...?" Just fucking "DM", like it's a fucking order or something. Every time I see it, I just think Fuck Off... And I take my time.
And just for the record. I'm not the only one who feels this way. Oh groan, I can hear the outrage already, the self important hurt feelings. To those of you who feel this way, all I can say is, the world doesn't revolve around you, if someone is in the middle of a conversation and it's urgent then at least apologize for the interruption, there's nothing wrong with that. It's only polite. But to shout "DM" at someone when they're clearly in a conversation or several, is just shit manners. Who you are anyway? When did your last fucking slave boy die?
And what really fucking grates is you get there and it's some lame shit that could just as easily have been said on the fucking timeline. FUCK YOU. You've just made someone interrupt a conversation, break off in the middle, leave their friends hanging while they go run around after you for fucking no good reason at all. Are you feeling the irritation you cause? Or are you just so needy for attention that's the whole fucking point of the exercise?
Let me make clear for the simply moronic and the self centeredly moronic who are going to willfully misunderstand this post in order to be all hurt and boo fucking hoo: I can and have spent hours on DM just listening and talking and I'm happy to do it for anyone. I love to listen, and I would never ignore anybody who needed to talk about personal and private things. But if it's something you can say on the time line just LEAVE IT THERE. It's not fucking rocket science. Don't bully people and monopolize their attention for the sake of your own fucking ego trip.
And then there's all that fucking mafiosi, spymaster, presents, hugs, you know: "I just sent you a fat fucking puppy, you should send me a fat cunt!" Don't spam me with that shit. It's boring, moronic and unwelcome. Say it on the timeline there's nothing wrong with that. But to load up someone's DM box with junk is just fucking rude. GROW UP.
It's fine to leave DMs for friends and let them respond or not, in their own sweet time, but to expect an instant response to your DM and become irate if they don't is just spoilt and arrogant. Grow Up.
DM me anytime, but don't spam me with bullshit you can just say on the timeline. And if you're the kind of person whose ego this bruises, I just don't fucking care, chances are I was never that into you anyway.
If anyone unfollows me over me this, I salute you with one finger as you march your spoilt lilttle brat ego out the door. Good Riddance.
And just for the record. I'm not the only one who feels this way. Oh groan, I can hear the outrage already, the self important hurt feelings. To those of you who feel this way, all I can say is, the world doesn't revolve around you, if someone is in the middle of a conversation and it's urgent then at least apologize for the interruption, there's nothing wrong with that. It's only polite. But to shout "DM" at someone when they're clearly in a conversation or several, is just shit manners. Who you are anyway? When did your last fucking slave boy die?
And what really fucking grates is you get there and it's some lame shit that could just as easily have been said on the fucking timeline. FUCK YOU. You've just made someone interrupt a conversation, break off in the middle, leave their friends hanging while they go run around after you for fucking no good reason at all. Are you feeling the irritation you cause? Or are you just so needy for attention that's the whole fucking point of the exercise?
Let me make clear for the simply moronic and the self centeredly moronic who are going to willfully misunderstand this post in order to be all hurt and boo fucking hoo: I can and have spent hours on DM just listening and talking and I'm happy to do it for anyone. I love to listen, and I would never ignore anybody who needed to talk about personal and private things. But if it's something you can say on the time line just LEAVE IT THERE. It's not fucking rocket science. Don't bully people and monopolize their attention for the sake of your own fucking ego trip.
And then there's all that fucking mafiosi, spymaster, presents, hugs, you know: "I just sent you a fat fucking puppy, you should send me a fat cunt!" Don't spam me with that shit. It's boring, moronic and unwelcome. Say it on the timeline there's nothing wrong with that. But to load up someone's DM box with junk is just fucking rude. GROW UP.
It's fine to leave DMs for friends and let them respond or not, in their own sweet time, but to expect an instant response to your DM and become irate if they don't is just spoilt and arrogant. Grow Up.
DM me anytime, but don't spam me with bullshit you can just say on the timeline. And if you're the kind of person whose ego this bruises, I just don't fucking care, chances are I was never that into you anyway.
If anyone unfollows me over me this, I salute you with one finger as you march your spoilt lilttle brat ego out the door. Good Riddance.
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