Textbook Example of how to Make Me Puke

I really should have posted more by now. The fault lies with the team behind this blog. (See intro section) Those guys just really go off. By the time they've gone I'm just a fucking mess. But hey, there's worse things...I could be a 12 year old Arab boy under an Israeli jeep being accidentally mown over 4 or 5 times for the fun of it...The world is nice!

Have you ever the had the experience where someone is deliberately trying to piss you off, but they're pretending they're actually being nice? You know:

Jealous Uptight Arsehole: "Oh, some people say you're a nasty low down piece of shit, I don't know why they'd say that!! : (nose tap!! :))
Me: "Oh? Really?, who's some people?" (Fuck you two faced obsequious cunt)
Jealous Uptight Arsehole: "I don't remember" (nose tap!! :))
Me: "Well, what the fuck do they say? (You are so fucking full of shit)
Jealous Uptight Arsehole: "They say that you're a rude, uncouth, sick piece of trash" (nose tap!! BIG HUGZ!! :))
Me: "Me? rude? uncouth? sick trash? (Go fuck yourself, one finger salute!! :))
Jealous Uptight Arsehole: "I'm only telling you what other people say sweetie" (XXX ;) Kisses!!! )
Me: "You are making me so fucking nauseous, go fuck yourself" (gag retch vomit)
Jealous Uptight Arsehole :"Ooooohhhh, you nasty prick!! See? you ARE a rude piece of trash!" (nosetaps! :))!!

Some people really are like this. I loathe them so...

DM Etiquette: How not to be an Obnoxious Dickhead

Have you ever had the experience of being in several conversations at once, having a great time, and some one shouts "DM!" at you? Not "hey I sent you a dm, whenever you've the got the time," or "I'm really sorry but it's pretty urgent...?" Just fucking "DM", like it's a fucking order or something. Every time I see it, I just think Fuck Off... And I take my time.

And just for the record. I'm not the only one who feels this way. Oh groan, I can hear the outrage already, the self important hurt feelings. To those of you who feel this way, all I can say is, the world doesn't revolve around you, if someone is in the middle of a conversation and it's urgent then at least apologize for the interruption, there's nothing wrong with that. It's only polite. But to shout "DM" at someone when they're clearly in a conversation or several, is just shit manners. Who you are anyway? When did your last fucking slave boy die?

And what really fucking grates is you get there and it's some lame shit that could just as easily have been said on the fucking timeline. FUCK YOU. You've just made someone interrupt a conversation, break off in the middle, leave their friends hanging while they go run around after you for fucking no good reason at all. Are you feeling the irritation you cause? Or are you just so needy for attention that's the whole fucking point of the exercise?

Let me make clear for the simply moronic and the self centeredly moronic who are going to willfully misunderstand this post in order to be all hurt and boo fucking hoo: I can and have spent hours on DM just listening and talking and I'm happy to do it for anyone. I love to listen, and I would never ignore anybody who needed to talk about personal and private things. But if it's something you can say on the time line just LEAVE IT THERE. It's not fucking rocket science. Don't bully people and monopolize their attention for the sake of your own fucking ego trip.

And then there's all that fucking mafiosi, spymaster, presents, hugs, you know: "I just sent you a fat fucking puppy, you should send me a fat cunt!" Don't spam me with that shit. It's boring, moronic and unwelcome. Say it on the timeline there's nothing wrong with that. But to load up someone's DM box with junk is just fucking rude. GROW UP.

It's fine to leave DMs for friends and let them respond or not, in their own sweet time, but to expect an instant response to your DM and become irate if they don't is just spoilt and arrogant. Grow Up.

DM me anytime, but don't spam me with bullshit you can just say on the timeline. And if you're the kind of person whose ego this bruises, I just don't fucking care, chances are I was never that into you anyway.

If anyone unfollows me over me this, I salute you with one finger as you march your spoilt lilttle brat ego out the door. Good Riddance.

It's a Cyber Psych Ward Out There, Beware the Freakshows...

Has anyone ever experienced the creepiness of undue, sinister attention on twitter? I have.

I'm not talking about the harmless ones sniffing around for a cyber fuck. Who cares, one can simply say yes or no. There is no harm done by asking, that never offends me. I mean the types who constantly bombard your DMs with aggressively personal questions, who are always in your face, and if you ignore them, start trying to make trouble for you.

I've recently had 2 such experiences. Both people involved are now blocked. One of them, invented another account and sent me DM after DM trying to get me to bitch about people I tweet with. It was all so fucking transparently an attempt to cause trouble. Eventually I made it clear on the timeline that I knew it was all a sham. Within a few minutes, the account was deleted. Good riddance evil destructive cunt.

A few months ago, there was someone who sent me some very bizarre DMs, not a day went passed that I didn't receive something barely coherent and aggressive. It was like getting a DM from a fucking ape. When I politely made it clear that I preferred they talk to me on public timeline, their tactics changed.

They began to ask me openly as well as obliquely for personal details, and tried to act as though it was a joke. They started to make bitchy comments about me based on tweets I'd sent to others, in other words, they were letting me know that they were watching me. A very close friend later told me he'd received DMs from one of them hinting quite broadly I was an arsehole, didn't he agree? etc etc.

A few days ago, they started to get very nasty. It's my policy to never bother responding when this happens, I just block and forget. It isn't possible to beat the insane, the stupid, the vicious at their own game. They enjoy fucking with people, engage with them -and they've got you where they want you.

I don't doubt that I bring a lot of this on myself. Anyone who says the ridiculous half witted things I do is probably going to invite fixation of some form. But all the same, it's very creepy.

There's a lot more to the story, too much to relate here, but this I found especially unnerving, the 1st psycho I mentioned, would constantly imply both openly and on DM that I was mentally ill, that there was something very wrong with me. I think he got quite frustrated when I told him, that not only did I completely agree, but I also rather enjoyed psychological instability. It's not a point I'm terribly fragile about, but I do wonder though, how it would have affected someone a lot more easily hurt than me...

I have many extremely good friends here that I'm very tight with, I can tell them anything, so on the whole, I don't feel vulnerable or isolated when freakshows fixate on me. But I can't emphasize enough how
unnerving and eerie it is.

I've learned that just because someone has an avatar with something furry on it, doesn't mean they're harmless, twitter is the same as any public space anywhere, the same levels of good nature, evil nature, kindness and nastiness exist. Politeness and friendliness won't save you if someone is out to hurt you. For your own sake, be very very discerning about who you allow into your headspace.

Hugger Schmugger Shit: You Seem to Have Mistaken Me For Someone Who Gives a Fuck

I'm supposed to be asleep but I can't sleep, I'm thinking about a really nice offer I got from a fellow tweep which sadly, I couldn't take advantage of, my net connection went bung, cyberus interruptus... but that's ok, she'll keep...

You seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a fuck. This has got to be one of the most gloriously dismissive expressions all time. Or "why are you even bothering me with your boring bullshit" another personal favourite.

I'm going to use these the next time someone tells me/implies I'm cold, arrogant, selfish or fucked in the head because I don't want to do things like pawcircles, cuddlepiles, hugs, or other public demonstrations of sentiment. I don't have anything against these things, but I just can't/don't want to do them.

Not everyone is born into Prayer circle/paw circle culture/mentality, not everyone wants to fucking hug, I would never lay a cyber paw/hand on anyone I didn't know well, I respect their personal space far too much. I would never presume that someone I don't know well would want me to be all over them. That kind of thing disgusts me to the core. BUT, I have no problem at all with those who like that kind of thing.

Funny isn't it? there's a certain type that persists in telling me how hard hearted I am, which itself is a kind of bullying criticism and yet I'm the one that's able to accept that some do, some don't...

I don't mind being the butt of jokes about hugging and touchy feely stuff, I enjoy it and think it's funny, but people who act as if there's something wrong with me because I don't want to cyber fuck a stranger (which to me is no different to all of the above mentioned) just piss me right off.

On twitter, I never imply there is something wrong with someone who is culturally different. I accept people exactly as they present themselves to me, I don't ask any more from them. Would be so nice if certain types could return this rather kind and all embracing outlook...