This is a picture of my friend Medusa, it was only a few posts ago that I told her in comments on this blog: "the more I know you, the more I think you're one of the coolest people here". And she is.
Sadly for her Mama, this beautiful girl has died. Life is a never ending story of loss. It's a cycle of loss, grief, conciliation of sorts to loss, and so it goes on. Death is as much a part of life as birth, sex, hunger and survival.
Not long ago, we lost our beloved young cat Thomas, also another young cat who was like the God of all Cats to us, and just very recently, 2 family members who were more like angels than people. The pain of losing our young cats was as nightmarish and unbearable as losing the human members of our family. Loss is the worst pain of all. Nothing hurts as much.
This is what Medusa's Mama has to go through now. I wish I could ease it for her somehow. I suppose all I can do, all any of us can do is and let her know that we feel as though we too, have lost a family member. I feel so relieved I can talk to her, when I see her on the timeline, it feels as though somehow things are going to be ok. I'm so glad she's here where I and everyone else can make sure she's as ok as she can possibly be under the circumstances.
This is all true of Medusa the physical, beloved cat. As for the cyber Medusa? She's as alive to me as she ever was, and thank God for that. There were nights when I literally couldn't get my breath from laughing, I remember one night, I was pretty drunk, and I dunno, was it her or the piss but she had me laughing so hard my sides ached, I sat there hand to mouth willing her shut the fuck up so I could get my breath back but wanting her to keep it up cos it was just so fucking funny. Oh Lord, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life. How many people do you know who can make you feel like that?
I admit on any given day, I don't really have a sense of "fun", kiddie humour bores and embarrasses me, as does fake sentimental mush. I think it's one of the reasons I consider Medusa in many ways a "female me". She said this herself just before I wrote this.We have that in common, although, she's MUCH more tolerant and nicer than me when it comes to kiddie humour (and just about everything else come to think of it). I just think "Oh fuck off"... and you can be pretty certain, if you make me the butt of your kiddie humour, it's the last thing you'll ever be able to say to me before I sever ties.
So I guess, as much as I feel for her Mama, and I do, because I know only too well how it feels, as does anyone who's lost a member of their family they loved, I also feel that for me, Medusa is still here, she's gone nowhere, and thank God for that, I don't want to lose the babe who knew what to do with _I_
PS: the title of this post comes from my favourite Nirvana song, "Aneurysm"
